Tuesday, May 31, 2011


Like I said yesterday I feel as though I have to recapitulate my weekend bit by bit. It was an emotional one. Very emotional. In fact I even have cried myself to sleep on one of the nights and that for sure hasn't happened in a long time. I wasn't even sad in the meaning of sad. I am actually doing great. I love my life. I love how things are going at the moment. It was Friday night and things had just gone a little different and I was angry at myself for being a certain way and feeling a certain way.
Saturday came and as I was sitting at Leadership Summit (our monthly leaders gathering at church) I was just touched by God. The topic was How to be unstoppable and about God's calling and how we as leaders have to respond to critizism for example or how growth is healthy. And it's not like I hadn't heard these things before, but this time they went right in and I had to ask myself a couple of questions regarding my leadership and how I respond and how I handle people or critizism.

The question at the end was what is holding me back. to become what God wants me to be. See, all I want is to please God and become the woman He intended me to be to reach a lost and broken world. He has given me giftings and equipped me with talents and I want to use them for Him. Use them for His purpose. Fear paralyzes our potential. I don't want to be afraid. Yes, some things that God has given me are way too big for me but I can trust God that He'll do it through me. The ministries and things I do are not about myself but for His glory and in order to make Him famous in and through people's lives.

At the end we all had to write down things we are afraid of when it comes to our ministry and then we shredded these papers as a symbol to let all fear go. I let go. No more fear.

The reason I had been angry crying myself to sleep the night before was because I had put too much focus on my life rather than looking outwards at the bigger picture. The bigger picture is God's plan for my life and although sometimes I will not understand some of the things happening I know what my calling is. The ultimate calling for all our lives is to make Jesus known where ever we go.



Monday, May 30, 2011


My weekend was filled with so many different emotions and impressions and things to think about I don't even know where to start.
So I might be talking about some of these things throughout the week. But for now I just wanted to show you a picture from when I was in India in 2004 (the tsunami hit this beach a month after I was there). Why? Because I'm going to India again this summer with a team to help with kids. I am above honored and humbled to be part of leading this team and cannot wait to go back.

We watched Slumdog Millionaire last night and I have seldomly been touched by a movie this way. It broke my heart to watch it and I feel no words could give an appropriate explanation of how I felt watching this movie because my tears came from a place very deep within me. I believe if you see things through God's eyes you feel things with His heart and you get a glimpse of the amount of sadness and heartbrokeness He must feel seeing us. Therefore we, the Church have to rise up and be the change.



Thursday, May 26, 2011

Old feelings

Ok... seriously... I found something out today. Ok not that I didn't know that before but was just reminded of how much our experiences shape the way we react in certain situations.
This might not be new to you or it may seem like the super-easy-I-could've-told-you-that statement. Yet sometimes we're just reminded of things when they slap our faces.
An mine was slapped big time today. Due to a time of my life where I was so not myself and kind of straying from all things, feeling little, unworthy and not enough I now am insecure in some situations. Don't get me wrong. This time is long over with, forgiveness has taken place and I have grown to be myself again - my strong self.
Just sometimes a situation occurs and the way it makes me feel reminds me of that time and I hate it. It feels as though I cannot deal with the situation and become really insecure and although I know this isn't right and I have to fight it and stand against it, it still happens. Not often. Not much.

But today it happened and I cannot allow for it to take roots or stay in my mind. So I guess I will verbalize it and speak about it because once said it loses power.

I guess that's it for now. I guess I'm fine.



Don't leave

I bought these at the farmer's market yesterday and as I unpacked them I just thought how beautiful to live in such a fruitful region with such produce.
And it is a funny thing now standing here saying, I love this place. I love this area, I love everything about it. The small town, knowing people, the rural area.
I live in the most southern part of Germany. It doesn't get any more south than this and no it is not Bavaria, but right at the border to France and Switzerland.

When I graduated from High School I was so set on moving away attending university somewhere else, a big city. The only places I applied were at least 200 to 300 kilometers away from home. But nothing worked out. Until the very end. I had applied for a university in Stuttgart but the company I applied for only agreed to accept me by choosing a university in my own town. Divine humor? I believe so. So there I was having to make this decision. This decision that seemed so not what I had wanted but as I prayed and asked God it was exactly what He wanted for my life although I didn't understand it at that time.

So I did. I studied in my town. My small town with a population of only 48.000. And I was ok. The first semester I spent in Colmar, a small French town I absolutely love but from there it meant living here and not only that but working for a regional development company.

Could it get any more obvious? Stay! Don't leave! Love this place! And so I started falling in love with this region. Falling in love with the lush greens, the summer months, the southern feel, the Black Forest, the hills and mountains and rivers and the way of life. Even the dialect spoken here.

And not only that. My responsibilities in church grew. There was a reason for my having to stay here. I was needed and this feeling of being needed of having a cause to run for made we want to stay even more.
At the eve of my graduation from university I didn't want to leave this place. I wanted to stay. And once again I was offered to stay, to keep working for the region. I gladly accepted.
And now a couple of years later I can still say I love my town. I love walking downtown and not being a stranger. Living an exposed life without namelessness. I love meeting people downtown and have restaurant owners know my name.
My life is transparent and I love it that way!

My heart says, yes I will stay because apparently God has different, bigger plans for my life here. Plans I cannot even imagine. But one thing I know: he wants me to also be fruitful in this region and produce good things.



Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Weekend Snapshot

This is a little snapshot from my weekend in Aachen where I had the honor of attending my friend Lea's wedding. It was beautiful, she was stunning.
Seeing people get married where it's just right and sealed with God touches my heart deeply. There is nothing like making this covenant right with God.

How was your weekend? What were you up to?

Much love.



Friday, May 20, 2011


It is already weekend again. Wow. Time passed in speed of light this week.
I'll be driving up to Aachen (5 hours in the car!!!) tomorrow morning to go to a wedding and I'm super excited. I just loooove weddings! But before I go, I wanted to say a quick hello.

Yesterday night was my only night off (meaning no meetings, no work, no responsibilities) and so Melina and I decided to throw together a quick dinner and watch a movie. Yes indeed did we decide for a chick flick. Don't we just all need these every once in a while. So we watched the movie, ate really healthy and just relaxed!

Happy weekend friends. What are you up to?



Thursday, May 19, 2011


Hello my friends. I know I have been so absent this whole week. A lot was going on at work and there was little time for creativity, something I don't like. Being creative in so many different ways each day is essential to me. I do a lot of research and I read things. Fuel for inspiration.
Yet as I was sitting here drinking my coffee having some candy with it (I cannot drink black coffee without there being something sweet to chew on :-) ) I decided to share with you nonetheless. Plus, writing always helps me process things. Just like talking. I consider myself a talk processor. Just letting it all out and in talking finding the solution.

I actually have been reading a lot about Guerilla Art lately. It inspires me how people just take this courage and do it. Yes I know it is illegal, but that point aside - people are taking a stand. I am reading this blog and I love their attempt at it. Also I totally would love to have a book by Kerri Smith. I think her work is awesome and she inspires so many people to be creative in everyday life.

That aside most of you know I am planning my sweet sister's wedding and in all this process I see new lands to be discovered but more of that soon. It's not yet to be spoken about, but if it all works out it will be awesome!

Well... I hope your week is going well and you get some rays of sun. We actually had a thunder storm rolling in today and I simply loved it as we haven't seen much rain lately.

What have you been up to?



Monday, May 9, 2011


I'm back from an amazing weekend in London where I attended the Colour Conference. And here I sit listening to this album and don't even know where to begin telling you about it.

Before the conference started I had some time to stroll around London and this time checked out Covent Gardens. It turns out this is one of my new favorite places in London. So much fun there.

The conference was filled with amazing teaching. Amazing and inspiring. It is so interesting how every year it just somehow fits right where I needed it, exactly how I needed it.

When it comes down to it I think I learned again how important it is to lead out of rest and ease. I learned how we always have to have Jesus in the center of everything we do. I am leading things in my church and over the last couple of months I know I mostly looked at it from the labor point of view and it just didn't work out. Everything we do centers around Jesus. Every ministry I do ultimately is not about me. It is about Jesus and I am merely the clay to be formed. Formed to be used by him. This is so important. Everything I do I want Him to be delighted in. 

So here I am now... ready. Indeed. Ready to change my world. Ready to make an impact. To turn my passion into something. Here to be strong, to be fierce, to be soft. Here to be louder, full of love and compassion.
Life is so much bigger than myself. There is so much more to do and change.  Last year this was birthed out of the conference and I cannot wait to see the aftermath of this year's conference.

Much love to you all!



Wednesday, May 4, 2011

This made my day...

I have a thing for videos and photos which are shot with beautiful light and music that just takes you to another place.
So since I am planning my sister's wedding I check out all kinds of things and found these wonderful videographers. I mean... I start crying with every single video they have! And then I found a video they shot for a band and I just love it and it made my day today so.... I share and let you check them out too:

Ragged Jubilee #3 from Ben Potter & Drew Barefoot on Vimeo.

And with that... I'll leave for London-Town tonight to go to the Colour Conference and I am just super excited to be inspired!



Tuesday, May 3, 2011


I am very aware of the fact that I like to talk. I am a talkative person. I share everything, I carry my heart on my tongue and ususally people know exactly what is going on with me because I communicate. It is my way of dealing with things, my ways of exploring the world having relationships.

But today I was asking myself if I overcommunicate if some things are necessary to be said. I mean I have learned over the years to be more sensitive and to listen rather than to speak in certain situations and although I am not there yet completely I am on my way.

Yet today there was this situation this very awkward situation and if you know me I get really chatty in awkward situations. I can go on and on about things in order to bridge the awkwardness and through my words crate a comfortable situation again. But that ususally only happens with people I am not too close with. Today though... it was strange and I just wanted to break that situation and say something but this thought came this thought of maybe just maybe overcommunicating and the unnecessity of saying something...

Switzerland 2010


Monday, May 2, 2011

The simple things

Jumping on the trampoline
Eating ice-cream with awesome kids and seeing the world through their eyes
Enjoying the coziness of my bed
Good conversations
Sitting on a porch swing
Listening to the birds and the wind
Salad and Pasta

Hope you had a great weekend! I'll be heading to London Town for this amazing conference on Wednesday night!



PS: Watched this awesome movie on Friday and adore this song right now!


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